Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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