i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
