grandma shit on top of the toilet
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
