YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
...so i touched it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize