Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
