just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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