we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
