called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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