i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i love accidental penises.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
they're like a gay fantastic four
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
