My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
meet me or not, i'm out of control
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Less talking, more tequila
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
