bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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