it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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