Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
