Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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