I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
