This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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