His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
