Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
