So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
