There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
