yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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