we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
