If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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