...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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