just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
