I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
