Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
