Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
