I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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