so that wasnt chicken after all
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
