Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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