I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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