I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
