I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
