after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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