after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
