Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
