i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
