I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
