dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
