Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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