Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I can text with my tongue
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
