wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
