You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
