i need an iv and a liver transplant
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
where are my eyebrows?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
