the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How naked do you want me to be?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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