You really coming over, don't trick.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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