ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize