we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
