wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize