Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
