they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize