I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
