If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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