We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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