whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
