Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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