I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
