The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize