All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
