Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
ok first of all what the fuck
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
