You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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