Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
