i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
