it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
