i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
