Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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