If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Randomize
