the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
