Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
