Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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