There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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