Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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