Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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