He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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