We're facebook friends in real life
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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