I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
