Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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