idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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