guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
