I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
