Do you still have your period?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize