the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
